“I wanted to die, because I thought that was the only way the pain would end”

Ingrid Lia da Silva grew up in the midst of poverty and her mother’s aggression and became a bitter person. A memory, however, made her understand that she could have the life she always dreamed of.

Having lived in a broken home, access controller Ingrid Lia da Silva, 28, experienced bitterness in childhood. “My father left home and abandoned my mother, me and my three brothers. I was very young, thought that my mother was to blame for not having allowed us to be children like the others, because, without conditions and unemployed, the solution she found was to have us sell chocolates on the street. There began my frustration,” she says.

In addition to the family’s complicated financial situation, Ingrid’s mother became aggressive. “Nervous, she started hitting me to the point of drawing blood from me, uttering curse words and practicing other mistreatment. So, I became a wounded beast, a bitter, depressive, envious and vindictive teenager. I started to have depression, ”she says.

As time went by, other feelings exploded within Ingrid, who reports that the pain gave way to anger. “The pain of rejection turned into hatred, which only grew against my mother because of that slight.” After another beating, Ingrid was taken to the Child Council: “from there, they took me to a shelter and I stayed there for about six months. Inside this place I heard that there was no way for me and that that would be my life. My will was to die, because I thought that was the only way the pain would end. I ran away and came back home, but the situation only got worse, because I got involved with bad friends and started stealing. I used drugs and start drink too. I did it for pleasure, to numb the pain and to feel a little better, but that hole got deeper and deeper.”

PAIN IN THE SOUL

After using drugs and drinking at a party, Ingrid lost consciousness. “When I came to consciousness, I was inside a house with unknown people. I suffered abuse and then attempted suicide a few times. Once, sitting on a street corner, I looked up at the sky and I remember thinking, ‘Why am I going through this? If God exists, why do I suffer like this? I didn’t ask to be born or to have this life’. It was then that I remembered the Universal Church. I grew up in the Children’s Bible School (CBC), but my mother walked away from the Presence of God, ”she recalls.

NEW HISTORY

Ingrid recalls arriving at Universal alone on a Friday when she was 16. “I left that meeting a different person. It felt like I was going to fly because all that weight I was carrying left me. It was there that my journey of faith began. I understood what caused that suffering and that I had to forgive my mother. I also decided to baptize myself in the waters and leave that old creature that I was behind, the old Ingrid, and I started to seek the Holy Spirit. I listened to Bishop Macedo’s Word Faith and, one day, I learned about the need to have the Divine DNA, to be born again. When attending a vigil, it was as if I heard from God Himself that He was the Father I always wanted and never had.”

It was then that she realised that she was no longer alone. “After that day, everything became different in my life, because I had a heavenly Father and I started to have his DNA. To have the Holy Spirit is to have life within you. Today, I have peace and my family in the Presence of God. I’ve been asked why I’m always laughing and my answer was that I have the Holy Spirit. He is my joy, my consolation and my friend.”

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