suomi

For years, Roseane da Silva’s life was devoured by the wounds in her soul

Journalist Roseane Ferreira da Silva, 29, says she grew up in a home with ten siblings, an addicted and aggressive father and carried many open wounds due to abuse she suffered from a relative as a child. She had no expectations of a good future.

For years, this abuse was responsible for a deep pain in her soul and she became a young woman full of conflicts, sadness, hurt, depression and with a huge desire to end her life to escape this uncomfortable feeling. “The hatred I felt consumed me. I developed an aversion to men and got involved with girls my own age. I was rebellious with my mother and made a mistake trying to fill my inner emptiness with friends, parties and work, as the pain persisted,” she reports.

And it was Roseane’s mother, housewife Maria José Ferreira da Silva, aged 67, who was the first in the family to become a member of Universal Church. More than that, she became the pillar of her home and the starting point for that story to change. Maria José shared with everyone in her house the good she received from God, but the pain that Roseane carried in her soul was so intense that she disregarded the faith that her mother presented to her.

The end was the beginning

“One day, I was about to commit suicide and my mother, already converted, arrived in time and stopped me. It was a moment of deep reflection and when I realized that I spent 12 years blaming myself and looking for someone to blame for my pain,” she says. Tired of knocking on so many doors and not finding a way out, she accepted her mother’s invitation and went to a meeting at the Universal Church. At the time, she heard the message contained in Matthew 11:28:

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” She says that at that moment her faith was awakened and that she understood the importance of giving her pain to God.

From that day on, Roseane began attending meetings at the Universal Church. Despite feeling strengthened by Him every day, she still faced many internal conflicts. “My biggest struggle was with my thoughts. It was hard to believe there would be change. I had a lot of difficulty forgiving, because I thought that I didn’t need to forgive the abuser, but that he was the one who needed to ask me for forgiveness. It didn’t take long and I learned that only with forgiveness would I achieve real and true change. So, I let go of the hurts and bad friendships,” she says.

With the help of her mother, Roseane got closer to God and, after two months, she understood the need for the Holy Spirit in her life. Roseane began to realize that other young women also carried the same pain in their souls as her, but she was still unable to help them, as her own wounds were open and only the Holy Spirit could heal them completely.

It was then that she participated in the Fast Daniel. Roseane embraced this opportunity to disconnect from everything that prevented her from establishing communion with God. She shares the experience she lived with the purpose: “I experienced a true spiritual transformation, I abandoned harmful friendships, I dedicated myself more to reading the Bible and meditation. On the last day of the Fast, in the search for the Holy Spirit, I felt God’s love overflowing in my soul and marking a before and after in my life. The transformation was so profound that those who knew me did not believe in the change, but, as a tree is known by its fruit, they could see the new birth in my life.”

A new meaning

Roseane remembers that she only achieved this inner transformation because she dedicated herself daily and believed that she would receive the Holy Spirit. There was no anxiety, but the pleasure of pleasing Him in every detail and in every moment of your life. “Since then, I have participated in each Fast of Daniel as if it were the first, as the renewal of the Holy Spirit has been constant in my life,” she concludes.

This new journey allowed Roseane to heal the wounds of the past and replace hate with love. She states that today she is a better daughter, she is patient with her family and that her change has been reflected in her work, at school and everywhere she goes. She is happy and enjoys helping other people who have a painful past.